April 30, 2021
My heart was broken when my cat, Zoe, got sick and I had to make the decision to put her to sleep.
Have you ever had to make that choice? Luckily, I got to spend the weekend with her before saying goodbye. When the appointed time came, I sobbed. So much sorrow. If you have ever, and I mean ever, lost a pet, I know your heart has been broken.
How comfortable are you expressing your emotions? I’m learning.
Too often we are taught to stop feeling. To ignore the emotions that well up inside of us. Determined to shut down the emotions trying to exit the body some will close their eyes, hold their breath or clinch their fists.
How does emotion exit the body? In the form of falling tears or loud yelling or punching something or even just intentionally exhaling. Maybe you were told, “Now that’s enough of that.” Well my lovelies, we actually need more of that. I assure you we need to express. Does it make sense that it’s better to let it out versus bottle it up?
But how? How do start to we start to express emotions? Baby steps.
- How would it feel to write out what you would have said, now that you know better? If it feels good, you can burn the paper (safely, like in a fire pit) as a symbol of releasing it.
- Could you take a boxing class…and give the heavy bag a name?
How to tap into your feeling self…
- What about a walk in nature? If you have one nearby, walking in a labyrinth symbolizes unwinding part of yourself. (click image if you aren’t sure what a labyrinth is or benes of walking it)
How would it feel to walk on a new path?
- Do you meditate? During the quiet time, could you imagine releasing the old feelings? Visualize a beautiful container. In your mind’s eye see yourself pouring out the old sand (old ways of being) and then filling the now empty container with the pretty stones. (new ways of being)
What is one new thing you could do tomorrow?
- Maybe take a bath and as the bathwater drains, so does the old way of being.
How would it feel to say no first, before you say yes?
Let me take this moment to remind you to have compassion for yourself. If you have spent decades ‘keeping it all together’ it might take you a minute to release the life saving grip you have on your emotional self. It’s true, more emotions may follow. You may feel guilty for blowing up. In fact at first, you may not be good at this feeling emotions thing. It’s normal. You haven’t done much of this. You are still perfect.
Lebanese author of The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran eloquently writes, “The deeper the sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
I like to imagine sorrow as sea waves crashing into a cave. The deeper the sorrow, the deeper the cave. The deeper the cave, the deeper the capacity for joy.
Has your heart ever been broken? Have you ever been really disappointed? Good for you brave soul. You have felt the emotions and lived through it. You will love again and my guess is, more deeply.
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